Fiction Friday: The Bandbox Hat

Previously: Sarah Jane checks into a hotel and gets a voicemail from Jesse telling her he was sorry about her father’s death and that her sister Rachael is coming to the service. Sarah Jane realizes that she saw Rachael arrive, but she left anyway, missing her chance to see her sister and be reconciled.

THE BANDBOX HAT

Chapter 18

 

A week after my arrival in Glendale, I was gainfully employed and had a place to live. I had a long term substitute teaching job in a private school. It didn’t pay even as much as the job I left behind in Rosedale, but I still had my savings to add to my earnings. I’d need the extra cushion since I’d never paid rent, and I think my heart stopped when my new landlady told me how much for a studio apartment.

“That’s for one month?” I gasped. “Not six months?”

She chuckled. “No, sweetie, that’s the rent per month. And it’s a good deal for this neighborhood.”

Her name was Jana Ryan. She was a no-nonsense talking woman who wore long flowing skirts and Reeboks. She had thick gray curls that she kept pulled away from her face by a wide brown headband. I’d seen the ad in the local paper and called right away and she agreed to meet me right after my interview at the school.

So far, my new life was coming along just fine. I’d had an uncomfortable phone conversation with Anna who heaped guilt on me and tried to tell me I should come back for April’s sake. I tried not to let her upset me, but I’d finally interrupted her, said good-bye and hung up.

Now, it was the night before my first day at the new school. I had an inflatable mattress, a card table, two folding chairs, and dishes for four that I bought at the dollar store.

I stretched out on my mattress and stared at my cell phone.

To call Jesse or not to call.

To try and find my sister, or … figure she always knew where to find me and never bothered. It would be ironic if now that I had moved on, and she returned home to look for me.

I stabbed in Jesse’s number and held the phone to my ear, not sure if I hoped he’d answer or I’d go to voicemail.

“Hello?” His voice held a questioning tone.

“It’s Sarah. I mean Sarah Jane.” Since I was starting a new life, I’d decided to go with a new name, too.

“Oh … hi?”

I don’t know what I expected, but this seemed odd. Jesse was never unsure of himself, what he wanted and what he planned to do to get it.

“I need Rachael’s phone number.” May as well get to the point.

“Oh. Uh … Didn’t you see her at your dad’s service?”

I didn’t want to go into the whole story. “No.”

“Huh.”

For an English major, Jesse sure seemed to be having a problem with his native tongue. Forming words was an issue.

“I’d like to call my sister.”

Silence met my declaration.

“Ummm … Jesse?” The monosyllables must be contagious.

“Yeah. Well, the thing is Sarah Jane—”

“Sarah. Just Sarah.”

“Right. Sarah, see the thing is, Rachael was upset that you left as soon as you saw her and she thinks she should stay out of your life.”

“You just asked me if I saw her. You already knew I didn’t?”

More silence.

“Jesse. Things … have been crazy. In fact, I should tell you, I decided—”

“Look, Sarah Ja—I mean Sarah. I’ll tell Rachael you called and you want to talk to her, but she’s not planning to go back to Rosedale anytime soon. Well, probably anytime at all.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I—”

“Don’t get your hopes up is what I’m trying to tell you.”

“Fine. I understand. Rachael doesn’t want to see anyone. If you won’t give me her number, will you please ask her to call me.”

“I can do that.”

“Thanks, Jesse.”

I hung up, torn between seething and obsessing over why Rachael didn’t want to see me. Or I could put the whole thing out of my head and go to sleep and get up tomorrow, ready to start a new job with a group of fourth graders whose teacher just had a baby.

Tomorrow would come soon, so I went to bed and seethed.

Woe! It’s Wednesday

 

I guess I wasn’t feeling passionately about anything last week because I didn’t post a woe last Wednesday.

It’s been a month now of being selfish and working hard.

 

 

It’s going well. I’ve gotten quite a bit done although I still have plenty of ideas and projects I’d like to work on.

I’ve started a new novel. It’s a historical which is a completely new genre for me. I’m enjoying the story and getting to know the characters.

I’m finishing up the current revisions of my contemporary romantic comedy. I’ve been told it’s time to set it aside and let it be, but I think I’m going to send it out to some new eyes. All they can do is say, “No.” Well, I guess they could delete it (and me) but that’s the same as a “NO!” so I’m no worse off.

I’m writing two articles for local magazines.

I’ve compiled several romance short stories and I’m getting ready to publish them as an ebook. Look for them in another month or so. I hope.

My days are more productive now that I’m being more intentional and protective of my writing time. I haven’t (yet) had to miss anything fun or any family events.

I’m just back from a mini-retreat with a friend. We spent two days writing, writing and then writing some more. We both have projects and needed some time to concentrate fully on the work. I made lots of progress.

Now, on to February!

Book Talk Tuesday: Currently Reading

 

I’m in the middle of several books and am reading them randomly, depending on the mood I’m in. Some of them I’ve mentioned before.

  Fantasy in Death by J.D. Robb. I’m just barely into it, but already can hardly put it down. Lt. Eve Dallas is investigating the murder of a video game mogul. I’m more than a little in love with her husband.

 

The Red Suit Diaries: Stories from a professional Santa. I downloaded it to my Kindle just before Christmas, but I’m still enjoying Mr. Butchart’s tales and how he’s able to make applications to the other eleven months of the year.

    

 

Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer is a free download from her website. It’s the Twilight story told from Edward’s point of view. I finally get what he sees in Bella.

I’m also still reading Ten People Every Christian Should Know by Warren Wiersbe. I’m in the last chapter. I wish I better remembered the details of these saints’ lives. I’m blessed as I read, but later haven’t been able to recall much.

Fiction Friday: The Bandbox Hat

Previously: Sarah Jane arrives in LA, eager for a new start. She finds a paper in her bag with Jesse’s phone number and wonders if her future is to be found in her past.

THE BANDBOX HAT

Chapter 17

An hour later I sat on the queen-size bed in my room-for-one-for-one-night-please and stared at my phone. I had three missed calls from Anna, two from Nathan, one from Jake and four from blocked numbers. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who those might be.

I’d left a letter, I thought, resentment at their intrusion into my new life after only a few hours pecking at the base of my neck. The more rational part of my brain scolded that a scribbled Bye on Anna’s message chalk board by the phone could hardly be called a note much less a letter.

I keyed in a text to Nathan. I’m fine. Just needed to get away for a bit. Will keep in touch. I pressed Send, then resumed my staring. I mean my thinking.

To call Jesse or not to call. To try and find Rachael or not. To look for a job … That was the thought that gave me pause. Was this trip simply a one-time instance of Sarah Jane standing up for herself and would I go running back to Rosedale and my safe life? If I did, I’d never be able to resist Anna’s inexorable will again. That alone resolved my inner steel.

I may end up back at the farm, in my garage apartment, but it would be because I wanted to and I freely chose that life. I couldn’t let anyone else dictate to me anymore what I should do.

So I was staying. Then back to questions one and two. Call Jesse? Find Rachael?

My phone buzzed, making me jump. A return text from Nathan. No worries. Love you.

I smiled. Nathan was my favorite brother for a reason.

Okay, time to do something, even if it was wrong.

I threw on my workout clothes and headed for the gym.

Thirty minutes later I returned to my room and this time I only had two missed calls on my phone.

One from Anna and one from an unfamiliar number. I also had a voice mail.

May as well get it over with. I pressed the buttons and listened as a familiar voice ignited a storm of emotions.

“Sarah Jane, it’s Jesse. I was sorry to hear about your dad. Rachael is really upset, too. She said she was going up for the funeral. I probably should have called to tell you, but … well, it’s not like we’re friends anymore. You made that clear. So … anyway, I’m sorry about your dad. Bye.”

I deleted the message but I couldn’t delete his voice or the feelings surging through me.

It had been Rachael at the church this afternoon. I could have seen my sister, hugged her, but I’d raced away, too upset and too selfish to think clearly.

No, that wasn’t true. Everyone grieves differently and if Rachael’s grief drove her back to her family and Anna’s drove her to unmerciful bossing, was it so wrong that mine drove me to solitude at any cost? It didn’t mean that I loved Dad or the rest of the family any less. Did it?

I plucked at a loose thread on the bedspread. I’d heard horror stories about how filthy hotel linens, especially bed coverings are. And the carpets.

I pulled off my shoes and socks and walked to the bathroom for a shower. I rubbed my bare feet on the carpet. Defiance was a new emotion for me.

I liked it.

--------------

Book Talk Tuesday: Finger Lickin’ Fifteen

Somehow, I missed this one and had to back track from Sizzling Sixteen  which I read a few months ago.

 

Stephanie Plum is back and is busy tracking down bail jumpers and escaping firebombs and exploding cars. In this one, she gets to help out Ranger in his business. Joe and Stephanie are currently off in their on/off relationship, giving her the chance to dream a little about Ranger. The bail skippers are as weird/harmless/lethal as ever. There’s usually one of each and this time is no exception.

Lula and Grandma Mazur are so over the top now that they are simply caricatures of themselves. Ranger and Joe are as enticing as ever. The language can be pretty salty for sensitive ears and minds. There’s no sex in this one, overt or behind closed doors.

I’m pretty excited about the One For the Money movie that opens this week. I enjoy all the Stephanie Plum books. I just can’t read them back to back.

This must be the week for series reading. I’m currently into U is for Undertow by Sue Grafton and I can hardly put it down. She gets better and better with each book. Seems impossible, but it’s true. Check back next week.

Fiction Friday: The Bandbox Hat

 

Previously: Sarah Jane runs home from her father’s funeral and packs her clothes and leaves town.

 

THE BANDBOX HAT

 

Chapter 16

 

Three hours later, I gripped the steering wheel and pulled a deep breath. The Los Angeles basin stretched before me. Scrubby brown hills still surrounded the freeway, but Interstate 5 snaked down and ahead. As far as I could see were roads and buildings and billboards, then more of the same.

HONK!

I gave my head a shake and accelerated. Best pay attention. Traffic flowed around me on both sides. I’d been to LA several times, but always as a passenger. Well, if I was going to make a new start and a new life, learning to drive in LA was the logical first step.

After a quick glance over my shoulder, I changed lanes and prepared to follow one arm of the tangled octopus in front of me.

In another half hour my heart was thumping and drowning out the radio. Cars still darted around me, exiting and entering the freeway. I seemed to be going either too slow or too fast for the others, garnering honks and glares. I’d missed a sign and was inadvertently on a freeway called 134 and apparently about to enter the city of Glendale. I’d already been through half a dozen other towns. I thought this area was all Los Angeles but I was wrong.

An exit loomed and I made a sudden decision to take it, earning one last honk. One right turn and I was on a charming street with storefronts and trees and bricks and cars parked in front of shops. A familiar green circle logo at the end of the block caught my eye and when I reached Starbucks, there was a parking spot right in front. Who says parking in LA is a hassle?

I strode into the coffee shop and in ten minutes I had a cup of strong, black coffee just the way I like it and a local newspaper. One good thing about living at home for years was that I had a healthy savings account. Even though I took off with no real plan, I knew I had funds that would give me a place to stay.

I turned the newspaper pages, scanning articles about the economy and the current scandals in the sports and political worlds.

The barista pointed across the street when I asked about a hotel. The place looked nice, really nice, but I decided for my first night on my new life I should splurge. Tomorrow I’d move to a more reasonable place while I looked for an apartment and a job.

Job!

As quickly as panic rose in my throat, it subsided again. There were only a few weeks left of school and I had enough sick leave accrued to cover that. I fished in my messenger bag for my phone. Pain sliced my finger and I snatched my hand out of the pocket. A paper cut oozed blood on the pad of my index finger. I pressed a napkin against it before pulling out the papers and setting them on the table.

Roseanna Lopez’s book report on The Violet Flash. A memory teased my brain. I’d been grading this when I got the call from Anna to come home. Dad was being rushed to the hospital and I’d ignored the summons because I thought Anna was crying Wolf! again.

Grief welled up and threatened to spill down my cheeks. I blotted my eyes and crumpled up the napkin.

I’d send the report to Roseanna. She’d done a good job on it and she deserved to know. I started to stuff the pages into my bag when I spied the numbers written on the back of the last page. A phone number. Jesse’s. The rest of that afternoon flooded back. I’d called the Hofer house to get Rachael’s number from Jesse but he’d left. His mom gave me his number instead.

I stared at the digits. Did my new start actually mean going back to my past?

Talking Books on a Thursday: MacArthur’s Moments of Truth

 

  I’ve been looking for a daily devotional for this year and when the opportunity rose to review this new book from John MacArthur, I snapped it up. I’m glad I did.

Arranged into short daily readings, the book is grouped into monthly themes. January is for Beginnings. February is Love. September is Work. The devotions are taken from other John MacArthur books, but even if you’ve read the source material, having something distilled into one page makes it more memorable and portable, easier to chew on during the day as God brings the reading back to your mind.

Some that I’ve recalled during my day recently:

• “But the children of a sinful generation are powerfully affected by the consequences of the sins of a society.”
• “A weak and constantly accusing conscience is a spiritual liability, not a strength.”  -- I love this whole reading on April 27th titled A Weak Conscience.
• “Whenever you elevate good deeds over sound doctrine and true worship, you ruin the works too.”

Just because the readings are fairly short, don’t assume they’re shallow as well. They’re not. Many of them are downright challenging. MacArthur tackles subjects like Sanctification and Justification and God’s Sovereignty.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who is looking for a devotional book that will challenge as well as encourage them in their daily walk.

 

-- I received a free copy of Moments of Truth from Thomas Nelson Publishers, in return for an impartial review. We both held up our end of the bargain.