I don't know if I've made a break through or if I'm just tired. Probably a little of both.
I've shared my struggles with being transparent. For most, if not all, of my growing up years and into adulthood, it seemed if I was the real me, shareing my feelings, thoughts, desires, whatevers, I got kicked in the teeth. So, I grew a cocoon and went with the flow.
As I've answered God's call to write, I've fought with Him about how to share my heart while not sharing myself.
It occurred to me a few weeks ago, that the problem is me. I keep thinking it's all about me, when the reality is it's nothing to do with me. My insistence on finding out what I can do differently is a trick the Deceiver has been playing on me. As long as he kept me focused on myself and my feelings, I wasn't doing the work God gave me. Not to mention being selfish and self-centered.
There's a part of me that thinks... wait, I'm doing it again.
I promise I will try to always be authentic, to own my opinions and thoughts and feelings, and to share those when appropriate and to shut up when it's not. Please call me on it if I fail or back off.
Currently reading: The Prayers of Agnes Sparrow by Joyce Magnin - it's lovely. I'm almost done then I'll be starting The Help by Kathryn Stockett.
Today I'm praying for Terell and her job and housing, Amy's health, and Craig Venter, genome scientist.
Last movie: Into the Wild