Wednesday’s Woe on a Thursday

I got busy yesterday and didn’t sit down at the computer until 5 pm and by then my brain was empty and fried, similar to how I like my breakfast eggs cooked.


People –well, Dave—makes fun of how I like my eggs. But I like ‘em how I like ‘em.

I’m not a big fan of eggs anyway. I like them in things, like cakes and pie crust and cookies.

Just to eat an egg, it has to be prepared a certain way.

Deviled with mayo – sure.

Scrambled – not a chance.

Hardboiled, diced in a salad – I’m okay with that.

Sunnyside up – Uhhh …. No.

Over easy – not going down.

I used to be able to eat scrambled eggs until about ten years ago.

Then, no matter how hard I tried, I could not get scrambled eggs past my lips. I decided that every person is allotted a certain amount of scrambled eggs to eat in a lifetime and when you’ve reached your limit, you’re done. I happened to reach my quota at age 42. You may be different.

I can still eat them scrambled if they have cheese and/or veggies added. Then I’m eating the additional ingredients and the eggs are along for the ride. But to eat a scrambled egg by itself – not happening.

In order for me to eat an egg for breakfast, it has to be prepared to exact specifications:

Heat a skillet.

Add a little butter and melt it on the bottom of the skillet.

Break the egg into the skillet and (this is very important), immediately take one half of the broken shell and pierce the yolk. I’m not kidding when I say immediately. I mean before your hand stops hovering over the melted butter. Immediately. Yes, the yolk runs all over the white.

This is the point.

Add salt and pepper, a couple shakes of each.

DO NOT SCRAMBLE. Or mix together or add anything.

When the white is set and the yolk is well on it’s way to rubber, flip it over. When the yolk is completely done, the egg may be served. It also must be eaten immediately. No waiting for grace to be said or for bacon to come to the table.

Skillet-to-plate-to-mouth in the length of time it takes to read this sentence.

That is the only way I eat eggs for breakfast.

I know. I’m weird. But you knew that already.

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