A friend recently told me something that grabbed my attention:
“The rewards of being a perpetual victim is no responsibility, no accountability, and eternal empathy.”
This is the kind of thing that makes me nod when I hear it, but the deeper implications are only clear after meditating on it for some time.
I know a few people who positively exult in their victimhood. Every time I see them, they bring up the past, how they were hurt and done wrong.
Their fixation on their hurt enables them to stay focused on several things.
- Their selves
- Their feelings
- Their grievances
If they let go of that victim mentality, they’d have to examine what personal responsibility they bear for the problem.
Then they’d have to be accountable. Maybe apologize. Maybe forgive. Maybe think about someone else’s needs and wants.
How much easier it is to stay wrapped up in their own hurt, continuing in the victim role, being rewarded with no consequences and empathy from their enablers. How sad.
I’m off to take some responsibility and do some apologizing.